Jokes & Humor

Schrödinger cat walks into a bar...

And does not.

Helium walks into a bar.

The bartender says we do not serve noble gases here. Helium does not react.

What is a physicist favorite food?

Fission chips!

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up literally everything!

Two atoms are walking down the street.

One says I think I lost an electron. The other asks Are you sure? I am positive!

What did the biologist wear on a first date?

Designer genes!

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it is pretty basic stuff!

A photon checks into a hotel.

The bellhop asks Need help with your luggage? The photon replies No thanks, I am traveling light!

What do you call a group of 8 hobbits?

A hobbyte!

Why did the proton stay calm during the experiment?

Because it had a positive charge!

What is a chemist favorite book?

Title: The Elements!

Why did the neutron go to the party alone?

Because it had no charge!

What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped into the other?

Sorry, my fault!

Why is the sun so smart?

Because it has a lot of degrees!

What is the most untrustworthy mineral?

Lies-ium!

Why can not you trust atoms?

They make up everything you see!

What did the biologist say when he found two identical cells?

This is mitosis!

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink.

The bartender says for you, no charge.

What is a plants favorite drink?

Quiet water!

Why do scientists hate the concept of absolute zero?

Because it is zero fun!